101 in 1001

So I just recently learned about this project to complete 101 goals in 1001 days. I must admit that the idea of this really appeals to me as a list maker. I love to make lists. It gives me a great feeling of accomplishment to cross things off. I make lists for menus for the week, things I want to buy, home improvements I want to do, things I want to learn, things I want to teach, habits I want to form; you get the idea.

Here's some more about the project, taken directly from the website www.dayzeroproject.com.

The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Some common goal setting tips:
1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.
2. Stay Focused. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.
3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.
4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.
5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

I'm going to use my blog as a sort of accountability forum for myself. I'm still working on my list of 101 things, but I'll post it soon. Then I'll post updates about my progress and let you all know how I'm doing. (I'm sure you're all vitally interested in my personal growth and goal-reaching process.)

If you're interested in joining me, I'd love to see what's on your list and help encourage you to get there.

They're Penetrating the Bureaucracy!

Anyone remember this well-written scene from The Incredibles? It begins with Bob Parr being pulled in to see his boss. Bob works for Insuricare, a medical insurance company.

Mr. Huph: I'm not happy, Bob. Not. Happy. Ask me why.
Bob Parr: Okay. Why?
Mr. Huph: Why what? Be specific, Bob.
Bob Parr: Why are you unhappy?
Mr. Huph: Your customers make me unhappy.
Bob Parr: What, you've gotten complaints?
Mr. Huph: Complaints I can handle. What I can't handle is your customers' inexplicable knowledge of lnsuricare's inner workings! These people are experts! Experts, Bob! Exploiting every loophole, dodging every obstacle! They're penetrating the bureaucracy!
Bob Parr: Did I do something illegal?
Mr. Huph: [reluctantly] No.
Bob Parr: Are you saying we shouldn't help our customers?
Mr. Huph: The law requires that I answer no.

Well, Brent and I have penetrated the bureaucracy of United Health Care. We've learned it's all about knowing "the inner workings" or the secret passwords and handshakes, as it were.

The birth center I am going to found a letter in their insurance files for me that makes quite nice ammunition. Apparently earlier this year another client of theirs had beaten UHC into submission and got them to pay at in-network levels for both the birth center and the midwife that attends there. They reluctantly agreed to this after admitting that there were no other providers in the client's geographical area that offered the same services.

Really???

Anyway, the letter was from UHC to the birth center giving notification of their intention to pay in full.

YEA!!!!

So armed with this information Brent called the insurance company. It only took about an hour on the phone and talking to three different people, but we think we will soon be victorious. At first it was "I'm sorry, sir, I just don't know what the procedure would be for that", or "Oh, I think it's this other department that you need to talk to". So after going back and forth between Care Coordination and Benefits someone happened to slip out the phrase coverage gap exception.

Eureka! We discovered the secret password that would allow us to at least start the process of what it is we want. Since people working in such large organizations aren't allowed to think for themselves and can only read from a script, you have to use their special vernacular for them to get to understand you.

So Brent went back to Care Coordination and asked for a "coverage gap exception". Suddenly they knew what he was talking about. They explained that this meant that in order to qualify there had to be no in-network providers that provided the same service. Yes, he agreed to that. The process was begun.

Then he was asked for my diagnosis. Umm. Isn't that kind of obvious considering he was requesting to go to a birth center? Anyway, he said "my wife is having a baby". Long pause on the other side of the phone. Brent could hear the woman rolling her eyes as if to say "Yeah right, there's nowhere within 30 miles of your residence for you to give birth."

So Brent said "You'll find there are lots of hospitals in the surrounding area in-network, but there are no birth centers."

Long pause.

"Huh." Again do we hear the rolling of eyes and the passing of judgment?

"Oh, yeah. You're right. Okay."

So, long story (sorry about that) short: we think they're gonna cave. They said the request had to be processed and they'd send a letter to us and the birth center in a week or two.

The moral of the story? It's a pain in the arse, but it is possible to "penetrate the bureaucracy" if you are dogged enough to learn the secret passwords.

Go forth and conquer.

Turn Down the Dial

A month or so ago I was in a church meeting where the concluding speaker gave a thought that has swirled around in my brain ever since. I'll summarize his remarks.

Think about your dial of negative emotion. Call it a rating system if you like. Imagine that you're driving to work in the morning, you are rushed, running late for an important meeting, traffic is terrible, and you blow a tire. There you are on the side of the freeway, cars zooming past. It's hot and windy and you're late and you don't have time for this. Not to mention the expense of getting a new tire. ARGH!!!!! What's your rating out of 10? A 6? A 7? An 11? How often do you feel like you are beyond the highest rating of frustration? Keep in mind that the dial only goes to 10, and yet you rate yourself beyond it.

What if instead of blowing a tire you were in a car crash that killed your loved ones. If that's a 10 (sorry, I'm not giving you more than 10; the dial stops there) then what does your tire blowing incident become. A 2, maybe?

His point was that we need to turn down the dial of negative emotion in our lives. We need to have proper perspective when dealing with life's inevitable frustrations and troubles. Our society has become so stressful that we operate on a higher level of tension all the time. It also has become so self-centered that we think that everything should go our way all the time. When it doesn't we feel put upon, cheated, mistreated, etc. We complain about the sense of entitlement that people seem to have nowadays, but fail to recognize it in ourselves.

If we could turn the dial down and consciously choose to interpret our struggles as something to be dealt with rather than a catastrophe sent to ruin us, then we would have much greater happiness in our lives. Don't we all want that? It is up to us to choose to live after the manner of happiness. We must choose to act, rather than be acted upon.

So that's become my mantra lately:

"Turn down the dial of negative emotion."

I Need to Vent

So I hate the medical institution in this country. I'm not saying that national health care is necessarily the way to go, but AAARGH!!

With Brent's new job comes new insurance. This new insurance company will not pay for me to go to the birth center I've been planning on. I understand that they have their network and want their clients to receive service within the network, yadda yadda yadda. I'm good with all that.

However, I think that all alternatives should be considered when building a network. They tout one of the largest networks in America, so I will have my choice of the best physicians and hospitals in the nation. Well that's just fine and dandy if I need a physician or a hospital. However, I need neither. What I need is a midwife and a birth center.

So even though the birth I am planning on will only cost about $2000 total and the average unmedicated and complication-free hospital birth costs about $6000-$7000 (we're not even talking about the "what if" scenarios that are so much more likely to take place in a hospital anyway, which up the cost significantly), the insurance company isn't interested. Why save money when you have political relationships to maintain?

When is America going to learn that pregnancy and birth are natural and normal and healthy events, not illnesses that the woman needs rescuing from? If a pregnant woman is high-risk then OF COURSE she should go to a hospital to deliver her baby. But for the 80% of us who are perfectly fine and healthy, we should have more options.

I realize that most women think I'm crazy and wonder why on earth I would even consider birthing without an epidural. Well, I'm not here to convince you, though believe me, I have my reasons. I think that choosing a hospital birth and anesthesia is a perfectly valid option for many women. However, I also think women are nuts who don't bother to educate themselves about the potential risks of even the most common of obstetrical interventions. How can you claim to be giving informed consent if your doctor doesn't inform you of the risks as well as the benefits? Only when you know both sides of the story do you really have a choice.

In this country of wealth and education we should have better options. We should have true informed consent. We should have people who are empowered to take control of their own medical care. We should not have insurance companies and politicians deciding what is best for us or what care we should receive!

Of course we are all free to pursue our own care outside of the insurance world, but at a steep price. Ancient remedies that have been proven over centuries to be effective (acupuncture, herbal medicine, etc.) are not covered by most insurance policies. If traditional western medicine has failed a person, they are left alone to suffer or seek expensive alternative care that they usually cannot afford.

There is something wrong with this picture.

Rant over.

Pregnancy Update

As of today I am 33 weeks +3 days pregnant. Where did my time go? I'm not complaining, oh no, not at all. I'm thrilled to be so close to meeting my little JJ. I am, however, starting to hit that point in pregnancy where there is more discomfort than delight.

I can't sleep well, though that's not really a change. It's just that now the poor sleeping is accompanied by aching hips and reflux. As my pelvis loosens at the seams I feel very unsteady whenever I get up from sitting or reclining. Plus the pressure of my uterus and all it contains makes whichever hip I'm laying on HURT!

I'm able to walk less, carry less, accomplish less, etc. I can't hold Jenny like she wants me too, and I feel bad about that. Poor little girl. Her world is going to be rocked when James arrives. Hopefully she'll be excited about the prospect of being a helpful big sister rather than feeling totally displaced.

I went for a hike with Brent and Jenny a week or two ago. I went maybe three miles and the first half was pretty steep switch-backs. I went slow, took it easy, and was able to just make it.

Today I went for a walk on a flat, paved path and could hardly hold my own body up. We went maybe one mile. I need to get back into my prenatal yoga; it helps so so so much with energy and discomfort.

The positive aspects of pregnancy are significant enough that I don't really mind the uncomfortable bits too much. For one thing, pregnancy completely eliminates my chronic migraines. Hallelujah, praise the Lord!!!! I do occasionally have a tension headache, but it is always much milder than when I'm not pregnant. Also, the normal back pain and other fibromyalgia related junk I have to put up with is also greatly minimized. I figure God realizes that pregnancy is enough to deal with and he blesses me by temporarily removing my other physical obstacles. I am grateful.

As an aside, I think that all parking lots should not only have handicapped spaces, but senior citizen and expectant mommy spaces reserved as well. Anyone want to sign a petition?

Sisters

I truly have the world's best sisters. I know of a family where all the sisters are total drama queens and either hate each other or hate their parents. Half the family is estranged from one another and they act in mean and spiteful ways.

Then I think about my sisters and am overwhelmed with gratitude.

Shelley . . .
is freaking gorgeous.
is a wonderful confidante.
will do anything you need.
goes the extra mile when serving you.
spends time she doesn't have when a sister needs her.
is a master multi-tasker.
is fiercely devoted to family.
continually seeks to improve herself.
is a craft master and home improvement specialist.
gives of herself more than anyone I know, but doesn't realize it.

Jessica . . .
is freaking gorgeous.
is an excellent conversationalist.
is an incredible example of love and patience.
serves endlessly, far beyond most people's limits.
uses her resources more wisely than anyone else.
is an anchor of faithfulness.
makes me want to be a better person.
is well read and intelligent and interesting.
makes any gathering more fun and loving.
has a great appreciation of beauty.

Katie . . .
is freaking gorgeous.
is hardworking and diligent.
is more highly educated than any of the rest of us girls.
is devoted to the Lord.
always strives to do her best.
never gives up.
looks incredible in everything she wears.
wants to be of service and live a higher law.
is patient and long-suffering.
is hil-a-ri-ous .

Emma . . .
is freaking gorgeous.
is totally unique.
is intelligent and talented and generally otherwise amazing.
is sweet and loving and tender and caring.
loves her family intensely.
will do whatever she can for you.
pushes herself and pushes herself.
is one of the funniest people I know.
astounds me with her creativity.
is a kindred spirit that everyone loves.

Annie . . .
is freaking gorgeous.
is the total package.
gets it done and gets it done right.
is a go-getter.
is loyal and loving.
continually sets and achieves higher and higher goals.
works hard and plays hard and then works some more.
can hold her own wherever she goes and in whatever she attempts.
always keeps a good perspective.
is kind to everyone, whether they deserve it or not.

Each one of my sisters is incredible and loves me and serves me continually. I could not do without any one of them. They are all have beautiful voices, and I love singing with them. I love doing pretty much anything with them. And did I mention how beautiful they all are?

"I two!" she said with a smirk.

Grandpa's Girl


I'm so cute, and I know it.


Why are people singing to me? Make it stop!


I like to wear my swimming suit on top of my clothes.


Let's go play in the dirt!


Mmm. What is this tasty thing heretofore unknown to me?


It's soy ice cream!!