The days slip by.
Happy days. Angry days. Pain days. Productive days. All part of the experience we call life. Right?
Sunday was a happy day.
(Aside: They are happy now that my husband no longer has to attend many hours of meetings all day, leaving me to bathe and dress three bodies, blow dry two heads of hair, prep three lesson plans, assemble lesson props and materials, keep the three dressed bodies relatively grime-free, and get the three bodies and the bag or two of props down to the church unassisted. Oh, it's so nice to have a husband with a non-leadership calling.)
After church and after naps my children were starting to get on each other's nerves. They were screaming at each other about the darn jingle bells. I've only got about 30 bells. Somehow that's not enough to share. So I shouted in a sing-song voice "Who wants WAFFLES!" That made Jenny stop screaming and she jumped up and down saying "I do! I do! I do! I want HELP you, Mommy. I do! I do!"
So we made breakfast for dinner. I turned on some Christmas music. And I twirled in the kitchen while I waited for each waffle to brown. James laughed and laughed each time I twirled. We sat down at the table and my children actually ate without incessant prodding. (Eating something covered in syrup usually goes down a lot easier than meatloaf does.)
That night my house fulfilled the measure of its creation by being the perfect holiday setting for a fun family dinner.
Yesterday was a pain day. I was up most of the night before in pain. My husband woke to the sound of me puking. That was a relief, because once he got up I was finally able to put on my favorite migraine movie. I watched nearly the full 5 hours of Pride and Prejudice before my children even got up. Well, I didn't actually watch it. The bludgeoning of my skull affects my vision so I can't actually stand to watch anything. But I listened to it to keep my mind off the pounding pounding pounding.
My children watched netflix streaming Blue's Clues, Dora the Explorer, Caillou, and pbskids.org Super Why videos all. day. long. It was great. I spent the time laying on my bed whimpering. That was not so great.
When my husband FINALLY got home (he came home early. 30 whole minutes early.) I began weeping in relief. Then the tears just wouldn't stop because I was so exhausted and in so much pain and so unbelievably sick of these damn migraines. Then Brent told me he had to go to scouts in 30 minutes. I cried harder. Then he told me he'd take both the kids with him. I cried in relief again.
(For the dear women in my life who are feeing bad and wondering why I didn't call you to come help, it's because Jenny was coughing and snotting the whole house up and I didn't want to expose Mom-who-cannot-afford-to-get-sick or any of the babies that you all have. Otherwise I would have. Next time I will. Assuming Jenny's not sick.)
Today has yet to be defined. I have a sneaking suspicion it's going to be an angry day. It's only 10:00 a.m. and already Jenny has dissolved in tears or tantrum half a dozen times. James was up for about 4 hours in the middle of the night last night, so he's cranky. I put him down for a nap, but I hear him banging his crib against the wall so I doubt he'll fall asleep any time soon. At least his crib-time separates the children and so their mutual screaming is on pause for an hour or so.
I have not lost my temper yet. But it's only 10:00 a.m. And I still am suffering from Headache Hangover.
The salvation of this day will come in the form of my sisters. Lunch with the girls at a place that isn't here is what I need. A change of scenery. New faces to look at. Grown ups to talk to. A room full of Polly Pockets for Jenny to get lost in. It will give me the emotional nourishment I need to carry on carry on carry on.