Thursday, April 8, 2010

Cursing the Cake

Yesterday was my tiny one's third birthday. Only she's not looking so tiny anymore.

The night before I baked her cake. In the morning I cut it into the requested Hello Kitty shape and frosted it. I had to do it in stages because a mother of two little ones doesn't often have an uninterrupted hour to do anything, much less take that long to frost a cake.

After years of mocking my sister and how she coordinates her birthday child's clothing to the colours of the themed cake, I now understand. I have fallen from my lofty ideals of simplicity and have spent too much time on a character cake, when I should have been packing and cleaning.

As I was frosting the cake and simultaneously cursing myself for the idea of it in the first place, I began to wonder who I was doing this for. Was I really doing this for Jenny so that she could have a fun birthday? Or was I doing it for myself in some twisted way? What was I getting out of it?

I was stressed.
I had way too much to do to waste an entire day on prepping for a 3-year-old's party that would last two hours.
The frosting was running down my arm and the little stars wouldn't maintain their shape because I don't know what I'm doing and my frosting was too thin and my baby was starting to cry and I had only just started.

Was I trying to impress the party attendees? No, they're just family members who have seen me at my worst.

Was I trying to prove something about what a fabulous party-planning and creative mother I am? Possibly, but since I know I'm not really any of those things, why would I try to prove something I don't hold to be true?

Because I want it to be?

Hmm. As I was pondering this, Jenny began enthusiastically chanting "Thank you, Mommy! Thank you for my Hello Kitty CAKE!"

She said it over and over with such sincerity and joy that I was glad for the task.

She loved it. She really did. She talked about it in anticipation for weeks and in enjoyment all day and for a few days more. She cried when it was all gone.

That's right. I did it for her. My intentions were pure.


JaeReg said...

A "Thank You" is a sometimes rare, always joyous thing from a child. Especially one just turning three.
But it might have tipped you over the edge into character-cake-land. You'll have to weigh that "thank you" in the balance next year when you are considering the task again.

She was seriously happy though. And seriously cute.

And the cake impressed me.

Lissa said...

That's a darling cake, and a sweet story. I've gathered that you're a bit busy, but you should write more often. You have a knack.

Hope you are feeling alright since the FMS pregnancy vacation...

:) Lissa

Natalie said...

What an awesome cake! Her smile says it all, doesn't it? And she will remember that you made the time to give her something that only you can give. Happy 3rd Birthday to your Big Girl! She is adorable!